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I was recently home in Boston, and my mother– [cheer] Thank you. My mother Irena referred to the singer Celine Dion– Listen to me now. She referred to the singer Celine Dion as Salon Dijon. I honestly don’t know why we’re not all doing backflips right now. Salon Dijon was said to me in a

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All right, we can just jump into it. -Welcome to the show. -…man. I feel like we’ve all… we’ve all been thrust into this new world of living in a different way, and then you’re the first person who I felt like truly captured, like, bringing joy into the world of social distancing. Did you

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( music playing )Announcer: What’s up, New Orleans?This is “Comedy Central Stand-Up Presents.”Please welcome Josh Johnson.( cheering ) Cool. This is New Orleans, so I know you guys party. ( cheering ) Is it just me or is the mark of a good party always something bad happening? You know, no one’s ever like, “Oh,

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Okay, Jerry, are you ready to see the new Nora? This is truly my best work. Get out! Thin-rimmed glasses, side ponytail, post-post-modern Japanese turtleneck, health goth sweatpants, and nylon-sock shoes. It’s so tech, it’s perfect. Thank you. (mimics Elizabeth Holmes) Yeah, thank you. Wait… (wheezing laugh) Are you doing the, um… the Elizabeth Holmes

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Hey Giorgio, Armani Marc Jacobs and Tiffany That D&G, BVLGARI A Fendi bag or Just Cavalli Oh I can’t choose Oh I can’t choose Cause life is good, when I shop Life is great, when I spend Life gets better when there are sales Cause life is good, when I shop Life is great, when

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– WHOA. [laughs] HI. THAT WASN’T– EXPECTED TO SEE YOU ALL UNDULATIN’ UP HERE. UH, HI. I JUST PUT MY JACKET ON THE BED WHEN I FIRST CAME TO THE PARTY, BUT I DIDN’T REALIZE THAT THE PARTY MADE ITS WAY UP HERE. BUT I’LL GET THAT NOW. I WILL, IF YOU– CAROL, I DON’T

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Hey everyone, this is my friend Charlie! Welcome to Canada! Hey, I’m just gonna grab your jacket. I just have a few more little host-y things to do still. I’ll come back and check on you in a couple of minutes, okay? Just letting you know, so make yourself comfortable, everyone here is super nice!

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hey what’s up man it’s right inside $20 cover and then just make yourselves comfortable 20 inch appreciate that buddy what’s that be jelly you like how cool is Mike he’s all right I mean you know took my credit card that was a little yeah he’s really yeah huh how about that okay and

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I DO LIVE IN A PREDOMINANTLY LATINO NEIGHBORHOOD AND MY FAVORITE PLACE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD HAS GOT TO BE THE MEXICAN PARTY SUPPLY STORE. THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME. DOESN’T MATTER WHICH ONE YOU GO TO. YOU COULD BE IN QUEENS. YOU COULD BE IN GUADALAJARA, SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA. IDENTICAL. SPRAY-PAINTED STORE FRONT. THERE’S SOME ROSES,

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