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A transport company is looking for workers. No thanks. I’m not a bodybuilder. This hotel is looking for a waiter. Please, I’m not a slave. Listen, the police is looking for a man, about 40 years old, that harasses women in the park at night. Now that’s a job for me, right?

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Let’s kick it off with some good news first. The FDA has just approved a new coronavirus test due to start shipping this week. And this test will dramatically decrease the wait time for results, all right, down from a few days to a mere 45 minutes. Which is no time at all. That’s just

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– Okay people, here we are. Tuesday, best jokes yesterday were the testicle eating festival. They didn’t do it ’cause they didn’t have the balls to do it. That was number one, and then CGI hedgehog, teeth luck a little bucky. I did love that one. Here’s today’s, Meghan Markle, her royal title has been

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Hello! Are you from Spain? Look, he’s a German friend, he has come to do a thesis from the university here, to see if you can help him. He’s looking like… the poop building here in Spain… Of the…?! Hello, excuse me, do you speak Spanish? Yes… See if you can help me, my friend

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The Democratic primary. What was meant to be a one-day event in Iowa has turned into a four-day shitshow of confusion. Only about three-quarters of the ballots are in, so we still don’t know who officially won. But as it stands, it’s a close race between Bernie Sanders, the world’s youngest old man, and Pete

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When I first started learning the German language, I was laughed at and people asked me “Evan, why would you want to learn such an ugly, ugly language?” And to that, I’m a bit insulted I consider the German language very beautiful. Yes, it may have 48 different adjective endings But they’re there for a

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Hello, my name is– Hello, my name is Lyric Lewis, and tonight we’re gonna talk about Willy Hitler, the nephew of Adolf Hitler. Hmm. [belches] Oh, excuse me. So our story begins in Liverpool, England. William Hitler is living his young life, and in 1930, his father was like, “Yo, come and meet your uncle.”

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My name is Manuel and I’m from Germany. I know nothing. And now for something completely different, it’s… People from earth! So yesterday – shown across the world – was the last ever performance of the legendary Comedy group Monty Python! it is official now, Monty Python is not pining for the fjords anymore, they

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I have invited Greek Prime Minister Aleksis Tsipras to Berlin on Monday, and I am glad of his visit. We will have time to speak with each other, possibly even to debate. Of course it is absolutely clear that nobody can expect a solution for Greece’s problems, this evening in Brussels or on Monday evening.

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Where would you like to have your mask done you want to have it done here? well I dont care where, laughing you look like your, like 500 year old I dont even know how its supposed to help Funky music Im knackered Quiet giggles First of all Ive got to have one of those

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