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AH! 0-700 HOURS. AT LAST, I FACED THE SAVAGE CREATURE THAT HAS BEEN TERRORIZING OUR SCHOOL. JUST HOLD STILL. THIS WON’T HURT A BIT. COME BACK HERE! AH! 0-701 HOURS. THE NOBLE BEAST HAS ELUDED ME ONCE AGAIN. HE HAS LIVED TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY. ♪♪ I USED TO OWN THIS TOWN ♪ NOW IT’S

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– HELLO! – HELLO. COULD I GET A 28 PIECE CHICKEN BUCKET, EXTRA CRISPY, A DOZEN BUFFALO WINGS AND… YOU KNOW, THROW IN A BOX OF CHICKEN NUGGETS. [ Unintelligible ] YEAH, SURE. – MOST OF THE TIME I WAS TOMMY DAWKINS, CAPTAIN OF THE FOOTBALL TEAM, SOLID C STUDENT, YOUR BASIC ALL AMERICAN KID.

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(ethereal music) (record scratches) (whimsical music) (wind whooshing) – Hey! – Hey! – What’s going on, guys? – Hey. I don’t know about you guys but I always get nervous when it’s time to go in and give my report to the big guy. – Oh, me too. – You always hope you’ve done enough

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[ Blast and machine gun shots ] PUSH THEM BACK TO SEA, BOYS. PUSH THEM BACK TO SEA. – I’M LOOKING FOR A HUGO BOSTWICK. – YOU’RE LOOKING AT A HUGO BOSTWICK. – SO YOU’RE THE PIPSQUEAK WHO HAS BEEN STEALING FROM THE CABLE COMPANY. -I BEG YOUR PARDON! I HAVE NEVER STOLEN ANYTHING IN

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[ Door closes ] AH! MOTHER? WHO IS THERE? MY STUN GUN IS FULLY CHARGED. AND I HAVE GOT AN ITCHY TRIGGER FINGER AND… AN ITCHY SCALP. BUT THAT’S ECZEMA AND FRANKLY NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. I KNOW YOU’RE THERE, I CAN HEAR YOU. [ Trying to open the door ] I HAVE GOT YOU

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– GOOD JOB, CORKY! THE BIG GUY SEEMED PRETTY IMPRESSED WITH YOUR REPORT! – YOU HEARD THAT, KENNETH? SHE SAID “IMPRESSED”. – I HEARD HER. YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND EARN YOUR POINTS, HELPING LITTLE OLD LADIES CROSS THE STREET, OR RECYCLING YOUR LITTLE SODA CANS, THAT’S NOT FOR ME. – OH,

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THIS IS THE EGYPTIAN SECTION. GATHER AROUND. [In a monotonous tone of voice]: AND HERE WE SEE THE GOLD SCARAB RING WORN BY THE GREAT PHARAOHS AS A SYMBOL OF THEIR AWESOME POWER. – SO… BORING. – IT’S NOT THAT BAD. HOW ABOUT THOSE TOPLESS CRO-MAGNON WOMEN IN THE ANTHROPOLOGY WING? – YEAH, THEY’RE AWESOME.

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OKAY, CORKY. I THINK WE HAVE A GOOD SHOT OF GETTING OUR WINGS BACK THIS WEEK. SO LET ME DO ALL THE TALKING WHEN WE’RE FILING OUR REPORT WITH THE BIG GUY. CORKY? – KENNETH, WHAT’S WITH THAT GUY OVER THERE? HE KEEPS LOOKING AT YOU. – OH NO! IT’S THE ANALYST I HAD WHEN

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I JUST CAN’T BELIEVE IT! I ALWAYS LABEL MY DIET COKES IN THE FRIDGE AND THAT WITCH ALWAYS DRINKS THEM! I’M SICK AND TIRED OF HER ATTITUDE. – BUT WE CAN’T GET RID OF HER. IT’S CHAPTER GUIDELINES. WE NEED 13 SISTERS IN THE HOUSE. ALL THE OTHER GIRLS ON CAMPUS ARE LIKE, ARGH! TOTAL

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AND HERE’S THE BEST PART: RIGHT BEFORE THE BOAT SANK, WE GOT ALL THE ORPHANS INTO THE LIFEBOAT, AND ROWED THEM TO SAFETY! – AND THEN WHEN WE GOT ASHORE, WE FOUND FAMILIES FOR EACH AND EVERYONE OF THOSE LITTLE KIDS. – SO I REALLY, REALLY, THINK WE DESERVE OUR WINGS BACK NOW. – SO,

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